Oops I Did It Again (Round 2 of Hanacure)
Those of you who’ve been keeping track will know that I was supposed to have followed up with my second Hanacure treatment a week after the first, which would have meant August 6th or thereabouts. Welp. It is now September 8th and I'm just cracking open the next vial. In my defense, there were two family trips and a gnarly cold in the interim (the latter of which I'm still getting over, so if you run into me and I sound like Ving Rhames you know why).
One of those family trips was for a week-long cruise in the Caribbean, and I struggled massively with whether or not to sunbathe. On the one hand, I love a good tan - an opinion that is wildly unpopular with the Asian community at large, who believe that you're not worth looking at unless you're essentially see-through. I, however, appreciate the healthy glow of a sun-kissed complexion, not to mention the added bonus that it helps to hide any number of minor flaws. On the other hand, I felt like basking in the Jamaican sun when I'm in the middle of a 4-course skin treatment to LIGHTEN SUN SPOTS was the height of moronic decision-making. In the end I opted for prudence in the form of sunscreen and large hats, all the while cursing the fact that I would not return home a bronzed, cocoa-buttery version of myself.
Anyhow, here we are and I am entering into this second foray with great anticipation. Not for the process, obviously, as I don't relish feeling like my face is being sucked into a wormhole for any length of time, but rather to see how this next treatment pans out in the results department. I have high hopes for more noticeable changes...like that my melasma, fine lines, and under-eye circles will vanish forever and my face will travel back in time to my twenties, only without the brown lipliner and over-plucked brows that made me look outraged at whatever you had to say. Reasonable expectations like that.
If you missed the post on my first Hanacure treatment, check it out here to familiarize yourself with what comes in the box, preparation, the application process, detailed blow-by-blow during treatment, results, etc. If you're ready to join me for the continuing story, read on.
*Disclaimer: make sure you're not eating or generally averse to ugliness.
Before I begin, I take this time to have a sip of water and call my loved ones because once the mask is on all bets are off. Your face is basically paralyzed for half an hour.
Here I am, freshly cleansed, exfoliated & toned. Though dark spots are my biggest ongoing concern, a more immediate dilemma is that adorable constellation of hormonal pimples you see on my forehead & chin.
* my favorite washing-my-face headband that I've had since college finally disintegrated in my hands last night, so I'm using Luna's. It makes me look 350% more Asian.
Just applied. There’s a bit of stinging around my nose and lips, but I got aggressive with the exfoliation in those areas. I also applied more gel on my neck & under-eye than the last time around.
10 minutes - parts of my forehead, nose, mouth, neck, and second chin are already drying and beginning to pull.
15 minutes - a lot more drying and pulling, and my skin feels really warm, as though it's under a heat lamp. I’m of the school of thought that believes “if it stings it’s working,” so as far as I’m concerned I’ve already gotten my money’s worth.
20 minutes - the fun part is happening. And by "fun part" I mean that my eyebrows are hitchhiking their way into my scalp. They're being dragged so hard there are 2 errant hairs right at the arch that have turned into antennae. Making things a lot more attractive is how I'm struggling to keep my mouth closed.
25 min - my sister tried to FaceTime me at this point and when I picked up, she choked on her quesadilla. I can't be sure, but my hunch is that it had something to do with the fact that I'm starting to look like an old avocado pit.
30 minutes -
If I'm ever single again this will be my eHarmony profile pic. #nofilter
* note to self: don't forget to mention that the damp streak to the left of my mouth is a path of drool.
35 minutes - Well, Clarice...have the lambs stopped screaming?
Ok wait, time for a poll:
Results will be tallied and announced on Instagram. In the meantime, can we appreciate how nice it is that Freddy Krueger took time out of his busy schedule of murdering to get some Glamour Shots® taken? Someone's thinking ahead to his xmas cardz!
40 minutes - peak monstrosity. And yet, as you can see there is still a damp patch on my cheek so I decide to leave my death shroud on for 5 more minutes. Meanwhile, my lips are pool noodles and my eyebrows are thatched roofs.
45 minutes - Look how happy I am. Though there are still a few areas that could use some more drying, I feel it’s imperative that I regain the ability to blink, so I make my way to begin the removal process.
* I don’t know why having just my face immobilized makes my entire body rigid, but I walk like Frankenstein all the way to the bathroom.
Time to take my human form again. I rinse off the mask, already anticipating from the first go-round that it's going to re-gellify and clump into slimy globules, which creates the unsettling sensation that I’m rubbing an army of boogers all over my face. I'm not disappointed. After patting dry & toning once again, I immediately observe that my skin is more taut, more plump, and it feels softer & smoother. For the first time in a very, very long while my pores are not visible from space. Also, while there's still some residual redness from the mask, the usual redness in my face is diminished (if that makes sense...it's most noticeable around my nose). Uncertain whether dark spots have been significantly lightened until I do a side-by-side, but I do see that the Alpha Pimple on my forehead is less enraged. I video call my sister back and this time she doesn't gag (progress!). In fact, she marvels over how my skin is glowing and asks if I'm facing a window (I was, but still).
Conclusion: I think it’s safe to say that this second treatment of Hanacure is another success. I'll update everyone via Instagram on how long the results last, any new insights I have, etc. so make sure to follow me there @uneventhree.
Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for installment #3!
Without further ado, I present to you the before (left) and after (right) pics. Before anyone asks - no makeup, filters, or witchcraft have been used.
What say you...thumbs up or thumbs meh? Comment away below ⇣
Feel like you want to give it a go? Click here to buy your own Hanacure set...at the very least, you'll get to see what you'd look like as a melted wax sculpture of yourself.